HOLY SHIT TODAY I SAID I LOVE YOU 5EVER IN CLASS AND THIS GIRL LOOKED ME STRAIGHT IN THE EYES AND SAID “I LIKE YOUR SHOELACES” AND THE CLASS WENT SILENT AND I STARTED TO MUMBLE “THANKS” AND “I STOLE THEM FROM THE PRESIDENT” AT THE SAME TIME SO I JUST ENDED UP WHISPERING “thank the president” AND THEN SHE GOT CONFUSED AND LEFT OMG THIS WAS MY ONE CHANCE
I realized something yesterday:
Should demons be real, those motherfuckers can get nowhere NEAR the northern half of the United States during the winter. Wanna know why?
Road salt. Copious amounts of fucking road salt.
Everywhere. There is hardly a single surface not coated in the shit starting around mid-December and it stays that way until after there is no more snow on the ground.
I live in the most demon-proof fucking place for the entirety of winter.
well fucking yes
But now that the so-called apocalypse is upon us…. There seems to be no snow…. Hmmm, interesting…